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Status update

Here is an obituary I wrote: http://blog.jmac.org/blog/2013/05/16/an-obituary/

What follows is some stuff I typed into a chatroom today. I'm still in the same hour-by-hour crisis I've been in since Monday of last week. I'm in a coffee shop in Waterville as I type this with no clear idea where I'm sleeping tonight.

Things are dire here; nothing is stable until mom is safe in a home. I keep thinking they're stable and then something else blows up. (It's ricky half the time.)
I am shifting my stance to getting her moved the hell out and damn the cost.
I'll figure out how to pay for it later.

Today Ricky decided he doesn't want to drive the car anymore because he isn't insured. "I'll get arrested and go to jail!"

Yesterday it was the plumbing. Tomorrow it'll be Ricky's missed the bus or some other damn thing.

I feel better for having come to this decision

More background: I was under the misimpression that getting mom into a home on the dole would be a matter of waiting a few days for forms to process. This is true except for the "a few days" part.

I'm now being told this may take weeks or more to find a bed in a facility that accepts MaineCare (as opposed to private pay)

And I'm in continual crisis mode until mom's moved. Which is a huge drain on my money, my psyche, and my relationship hi amy.

So I can't stay in this mode; i was hoping as recently as this morning that we could tread water with ricky's help but that's a fantasy

also I straight-up can't work, or do anything else
except take care of a crazy old woman who literally cannot appreciate it
that's kind of a shit trade, for me


( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 16th, 2013 06:28 pm (UTC)
that sucks and my condolances on both your immediate loss and the horrible frustrations and pain you have to deal with all at once.

Cracked.com recently had an article on "things nobody tells you about dealing with death" and I thought of you: http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-things-no-one-tells-you-about-dealing-with-death/
May. 16th, 2013 07:25 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry for your loss, and for the ongoing awfulness of dealing with the rest of it. :(
May. 16th, 2013 11:05 pm (UTC)
My condolences on your loss, and my deepest sympathies for the ongoing stress.
May. 17th, 2013 01:52 am (UTC)
I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope things get easier soon.

I can't remember if I mentioned this already so forgive me if it's a repeat, but if you guys need to go up to Maine for a while, we could take care of your cat.
May. 17th, 2013 10:29 am (UTC)
I'm sorry for your continual crapfest. Hopefully it will start to resolve soon.
May. 17th, 2013 12:16 pm (UTC)
May your father's memory be for a blessing, and I hope the situation with your mother stabilizes soon.
May. 18th, 2013 09:57 pm (UTC)
Thank you for sharing your father's obituary. Sounds like a very painful situation. I hope that things get better for you all soon. Condolences for your loss.
May. 26th, 2013 01:54 am (UTC)
Jason, thanks for posting posting your dad's obituary. When my parents and I moved to Cohasset in 1978 your parents invited us over. Your dad was very gracious. I loved "Clifftop" and "Coachouse"! Your parents were very gifted at managing properties. It's great that they could share that line of work. Your brother Rick and I used to hang out (we are the same age) and I always appreciated that he took the time to help me get acquainted with the area. I babysat for you and we played Candyland!
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )

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